This Is What’s Up

A style blog.

For a long time, I fought with the idea of me liking fashion. Eeek, fashion! It associated with superficiality, vain and lack of doing something meaningful in life. Since I was a child, I really tried not to be too girlish or too feminine which meant all of the above and being interested in fashion – rejection of anything pink included, too. Yet I’m here now with my very own blog about clothes and fashion and what’s worse – with pretty pinky background. (It’s not pink, actually. It’s peach. Lol.)


Of course that I learned over time that femininity doesn’t have to have anything in common with the stuff above. And to like fashion doesn’t make you a stupid Barbie. Fortunately.

Few weeks ago, when I was seeing my therapist, I felt guilty because I bought this stupid brow pencil that cost like a very good lunch in restaurant, only that I wasn’t as content and filled as I would be in the restaurant. I told her about it as it happened almost unconciously and I was afraid of losing control over myself. She smiled and turned it into a brilliant idea (which is what she always does and I love her for that): ‘Why are you so hard on yourself?’ she asked. ‘So it happened and can’t be changed back. Maybe you can try to find out what intention stood behind it so you can avoid doing it again.’

‘I have no idea why I did it,’ I said. ‘I don’t even know why I spend so much time with fashion lately. I never invested that much in something so superficial.’

‘Whoa, slow down! Why superficial? Fashion and style are something that helps us express ourselves. If we are working here so intensively on you becoming who you really are, why shouldn’t it be reflected in a need to show it on the surface, to find what suits you on the outside? Tell me, what does the brow pencil do?’

What? ‘Well… emphasize the brow shape?’

‘That’s it! Try to imagine it: Here we are working hard on finding the aspects of yourself that make you feel good. We try to emphasize your true self. Isn’t the pencil doing the same?’

Well, my guilt was gone by then. And I found a way how to look on my interest in style.

So yeah, this blog is intended to be a style diary. Style, not fashion because I see style as something that persists, something innate, something that needs to be taken care of so it can develop – something that expresses the person, that is the person. As I am interested in beauty in general, be it in art, literature, clothing or nature, I see the style as a manifestation of one’s inner aesthetics. Which means the clothing may not be the only topic I’ll ramble about here.

And last but not least: as I’m not a native speaker, let this be a gym for my English. I live my life in writing and doing it in language other than the one I use the most is surprisingly refreshing.


3 thoughts on “This Is What’s Up

  1. I can relate to this internal struggle. I am not supposed to care about any of this because I am a student of science. But I do. And it took me a long time to stop apologizing for it.

    I am glad you went ahead. There are too few style blogs on the internet and too many fashion blogs.


    1. Well, the fact you study and teach science actually persuaded me to run this blog. When I saw it’s possible to write about style and clothing without merely rambling about everyday purchases and selling sponsored stuff and it can be as sophisticated as your posts, I finally started to change my belief about fashion – that it’s only for someone superficial and vain. There are certain feelings of guilt that keep coming back and I know I’ll be dealing with them for some time but right now I’m glad I did this, even if it should be only for practicing my English. So thank you very much for your support.


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